March 15, 2010

The girl I was caught up in a year+ ago hurt me deeply and I never shared with her how I felt.  I think she wouldn’t have cared, because if she did she wouldn’t have led me on/lied to me/etc.   So what would have been the point?

I have been dating a wonderful girl for 6 months and that ended a couple weeks ago.  I’ve been dealing with the feelings for 2 weeks now I guess - and last night was sort of the culmination of my grief and I proceeded to write her a letter today.  It felt really good to get it all out.  I hope she reads it and doesn’t immediately dismiss my feelings.  I think I’m having trouble dealing with this one because I don’t feel like I was a part of the equation at all.  There are no lessons to learn or ways I will grow from this failed relationship.  It’s largely on her and that is upsetting that she couldn’t work through stuff and instead bailed.  Regardless, I think it really was important for my own sanity to express it.